Wednesday, September 1, 2010

A New Leaf

Hi my dears. A lot has changed in the last few days and I am scrambling to get what is left of my life back in order. Summer is still in full swing (heatwave here in New England), but I cannot help dreaming of cooler temps and for the beautiful leaves to start changing colors. Autumn has always been my favorite season and I am very excited (and terrified) to start anew.

A few months back in April I made a mysterious trip to NYC and had to keep my intentions secret. I can now share that I was actually auditioning for the second time for America's Next Top Model. This was a closed casting call and I actually made it really far (to the step before you actually get onto the program). It was very exciting as I have always wanted to be a model and thought I had a fair shot at it. Unfortunately I never heard back from ANTM or Tyra. I'm really glad I have this blog though. I get to live out my fantasy of being a model while also being the photographer, stylist, and manager. I want so passionately to be a model and know that if given the opportunity to move to LA or NYC I could do it, but feel held back by money and responsibilities here in New England. I have always secretly held some desire for someone to discover me by means of this blog and whisk me away from the mundane life of a college grad with a BA in Spanish waitressing at Ruby Tuesday's. But alas is not the case. I've successfully wasted enough time just hoping for some big break and have not actively pursued anything and it has begun to affect my relationships and more importantly my passion for achieving my dreams.This is absolutely UNACCEPTABLE.
This coming fall, not only will the leaves change, but my attitude towards life will change too. As my favorite literary heroine Anne Shirley states in Anne of the Island "It is not what the world holds for you, it is what you bring to it". From here on out, I'm done wallowing in the past and and starting a new chapter where my dreams will come true.


photo credit B. Woodward 2008


  1. I'm sorry to hear you didn't make it! But you have a great attitude. I'm in a similar situation right now in terms of career so I know how you feel - once you get knocked down a few times you lose your nerve and think you're never going to make it, but it's important to keep in mind that things happen for a reason and if you don't achieve something it either means it wasn't the right time for you, or there's something better coming along. So, it's important to pick yourself back up and try again - if you really want something, just go for it! Even if it doesn't work out, at least you tried! It sounds like that's what you're doing though so keep it up. I hope things work out for you.

  2. You are right, that is totally unacceptable! I'm glad to see you are willing to approach a new leash on your life. Many models start careers without Tyra's help and I encourage you to chase your dreams and push yourself to make them come true. Sitting idly won't ever do it, so get out there and promote the hell out of yourself in every way you possibly can! Not every model is "discovered" on a whim, so make your presense known! I KNOW you can do it, girl!

    xo, MOUSEVOX

  3. I knew your secret NYC trip was modeling-related! I bet you anything that something special will come about from your blog. Seems like these days having a good blog will get you farther than a reality show will, and you do such a great job modeling on your blog that I'm sure some New York company will come calling.

    Sorry that you've been down about it, though. That's the worst! You're right, though--soon it wil be fall, and won't being able to wear sweaters and eat soup and drink pumpkin lattes make you feel a hundred percent cozier?

  4. I'm sorry the trip didn't work out. Your new attitude toward your goals is really inspiring, and I know that you can make it possible! I think you've got a lot of talent because like you said, being a blogger lets you try all these different roles, and one day, I think it'll put you at an advantage in the modeling world. I'm wishing you all the best.

  5. Awwww, I am sorry about Next Top Model :(

    I think your new philosophy for life is perfect, though.

  6. Do it! Onwards and upwards! I think if you believe in yourself what is meant to happen will happen. And do things that make you happy! Nothing is worse than being down in the dumps. I've been doing a fair bit of that myself lately, and nothing good has come of it. Keep an optimistic attitude. You have a great community here who is behind you 100%. Plus, if you think about the percentage of models out there who are from ANTM it is positively tiny. Think of all the things you can do without Tyra!
    If you need someone to commiserate about life changes with, I am totally there, just let me know.
    Sending you sunshine.

  7. I'm sorry about Next Top Model :( But your plan sounds great! Who needs Tyra?! he he ;) Plus you're so insanely beautiful that I'm sure you'll be just fine making it on your own! I wish you all lots and lots of luck with your dream! xxxx

  8. That so exciting, you should move to New York! You would be amazing. I just fell in love with that place. I would move there in a heartbeat if I could (I really can't, my husbands in grad school here for a few more years:(

  9. wow that's great that you got as far as you did. wonderful!!

  10. it's so funny you brought that up because I was actually about to ask what happened to that secret news! I knew it had something to do with modeling or acting...

    how cool that you made it so far though. you're an absolutely stunning model, and i'm sure plenty of designers would love to have you in their clothes. The blog is great for that! The fashion world has changed, and you do have a great chance at achieving your dreams.

    As much as I secretly wish that someone would give me an opportunity to work on professional shoots, I know that's not exactly realistic, but I keep making my videos and taking outfit photos anyway. It's great experience, and it makes me feel as if I'm 'paying my dues' in some way, in the case that I ever do break into the industry.

    just keep working hard and good things will come your way!

    You've got a great blog here (that's grown alot), and I think with a little more time, you will get noticed.

  11. This is such a lovely post. When I was a little girl I dreamed of being a Russian runway model. Now that I a older I realize this is just silly. For one, I'm not Russian. Secondly, I have covered large parts of my body in tattoos and finally, I wouldn't want the stress of being a model in a big city. I prefer doing artistic freelance modeling in my little city and living a simple life.

    Either way... you are gorgoues and offer a very unique look. I'm a bit suprised you didn't make it onto the show.

  12. I had no idea of your dream to be a model! now that I think about it, it makes sense, you are so pretty. Just remember that everything happens for a reason. I wish you the best of luck dear friend in what ever path you choose! ^,^

  13. You'd be a brilliant model. You have such a unique look and your outfit posts are always amazing. I'm sure this blog will be of help one way or another in the end. I wish you all the best of luck with everything.

  14. congratulations on getting so far!

    i was actually scouted for ANTM a while back while on a weekend trip in NYC, when they did the short girls season, but i couldn't do the show because i'm canadian. it was pretty thrilling!

    and you're right, having a blog is like being your own model, but without all the dodgy nasty bits of the industry. you're really beautiful.

  15. I had no idea either, but whenever I've read your blog, I always think "Rosie should be a model!" You are so stunning and have a natural poise and certain presence that I find so intriguing.

    Definitely make your own dreams come true. The victory is so much sweeter that way. I truly hope you find what you want from life!